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afterglow v. to hang out after a race discuss what you experienced on the trail.
age marks n. the holes in a rider's apparel that reveal the age of the garment and the longevity of the rider's participation in mountain biking.
air n. space between the tires and the ground. (Both tires must be off the ground or it isn't "air".) Said to be caught or gotten. See sky.
anchor n. your child, or children (anchors) that keep(s) you from riding. "Wait till you anchors grow up, you'll have road rash for breakfast and prunes for dinner!" To be used as an endearing, not demeaning, phrase.
ano adj. frequently-misspelled abbreviation for "anodized". See purple.
All-Terrain Bike or Biking. A synonym for
auger v. to involuntarily take samples of the local geology, usually with one's face, during a crash. See face plant.
bacon n. scabs on a rider's knees, elbows, or other body parts.
bagger n. one who always agrees to ride, party, gather,
etc. but rarely shows.
bag v. to fail to show. "Tom swore he'd be there but he bagged."
bail v. to jump off in order to avoid an imminent crash.
balance blackout n. that short time during almost every ride when you start to fall, lose your balance without reason, or seem to be unable to clean even the simplest obstacle.
banana scraper n. low hanging branches, the kind that smear the guts of that banana you put in the pouch on the back of your camelback when you don't duck low enough.
beartrap 1) v. to slip off a pedal, causing it to slam one in the shin, when one gets kracked with a pedal. 2) n. the toothlike scars resulting from being beartrapped.
betty n. any female rider.
a crash. Synonyms: wipeout. v. "I biffed and then wiped away
biopace adj. a now-discredited Shimano techno-fad where the chainrings were made intentionally not circular -- instead, they were elliptical, in order to (allegedly) smooth the power delivery, by giving the rider an effectively lower gear for part of the spin cycle. Now used to describe any uneven pedaling motion. Also used as a synonym for pogo-ing.
boing-boing n. a bike with full (front and rear) suspension. Might possibly be considered offensive by certain owners of said bikes.
boink v. same as bonk.
bolt-on n. a woman with breast implants. Derived from the term for after-market bicycle parts that are literally bolted on.
bomb v. to ride with wild disreagard to personal safety.
bombers n. the earliest mountain bikes, converted from cruiser roadbikes to race down mountains.
bonk v. to run out of energy or grow exhausted on a ride. "I bonked so early it was embarrassing."
boot v. to expel pre-ride stomach fillers due to extreme physical exertion. "That climb was hairy, I think Brian had to boot back there."
bra n. the rubber strip placed inside the rim to protect the tube from the nipples.
brain n. a biking computer, usually featuring an odometer, speedometer, clock, and other "important" display modes.
brain bucket n. helmet.
brain sieve n. a helmet featuring more vents than protective surface.
brand whore n. a rider that will only buy high-end parts/gear with name recognition. Wouldn't be caught dead using LX level parts or wearing a pair of Nashbar shorts.
bring home a Christmas tree v. to ride (or crash) through dense bushes, so leaves and branches are hanging from your bike and helmet. See prune.
BSG n. acronym for "Bike Store Guy".
bunny n. 1) same as betty, but used to emphasize the female rider's body; could be considerd insulting to some. 2) female novice rider.
v. to lift both wheels off the ground by crouching down and then
exploding upward, pulling the bike with you. Useful for clearing obstructions,
such as curbs, potholes, logs. Differs from its older BMX & trials meaning
-- see jump.
burrito n. a rim braking surface that's bent inward towards the tube, forming a section that looks rolled like a burrito.
buzz n. euphoric feeling. Commonly used after a particularly hard passage is successfully completed. "I got such a buzz after that uphill grunt."
captain crash v. to "go down with the ship". Usually the result of a novice spud-user failing to clip out in time.
cashed adj. to be too tired to ride any farther; bonked.
chainring tattoo n. the dotted-line scar you
get from gouging your shin on the chainring. See rookie mark.
chainsuck n. condition when the bike chain gets jammed between the frame and the chain rings, or when the chainring is so worn that it holds onto the chain and lifts it up to meet the incoming part of the chain.
n. extravagant parts used to dress up a bicycle to make it more
chinese toe cuffs n. see toe clips.
chunder v. to crash.
clean v. to negotiate a trail successfully without crashing or dabbing. "I cleaned that last section."
cleanie n. one who desires to remain clean; a wimp who will not have fun, stays on the clean trails.
clipless adj. misleading name for a pedal-and-shoe system where the clips or cleats clip onto the soles of special shoes. Called "clipless" because they replaced toe clips.
clip out (or, sometimes, click out) v. to disengage one's spuds.
cloon n. slamming into the ground, resulting in a ringing head, or a delay in the action. Term used in biking, skiing, and snow boarding.
clotheslined v. the act of catching an upper body part (e.g. the neck) on a low piece of vegetation, resulting in separation of the rider from the bike.
clearer n. the lead rider who has to clear out all the spider webs
for following riders. May experience wang
chung while trying to get
the spiders off his face. Similar to spider
cockrotter n. one who allows his bike to fall in disrepair, and whose bike invariably fails him at some point in every ride. These people don't know why their bike always breaks, and often would rather buy new parts than keep their bike in good condition.
condom n. the little plastic or rubber thing that protects your tube's valve stem from rim damage.
corndog v. to become covered in silt, usually after a fall.
cranial disharmony adv. how one's head feels after augering. "When my lid nailed that rock, I had a definite feeling of cranial disharmony."
crotch-testing n. sudden impact between a male
rider's private parts and something very hard and pointy, such as a handlebar
stem or seat.
curb grind n. expensive erasure of low-hanging, shiny parts of the bike on a curb or rock.
curb slide v. to place the front wheel up on a curb and allow the rear tire to scrape along the curb, usually resulting in a loud tearing sound.
cyclephernalia n. the parts used to upgrade/dress-up a mountain bike". See also chi-chi.
digger n. a face plant. "Look at that guy on that gnarly single track... he's going to go over the bars and do a digger."
dirt bike n. an off-road motorcycle. Usually louder than MTBs.
drillium n. any part with lots of holes drilled in it to make it lighter.
dual boinger n. a full-suspension bicycle.
dual-track n. a dirt road used by four-wheeled vehicles rarely enough that their tires have made ruts that became parallel singletracks. Also called doubletrack. See singletrack.
enscarfment n. a food break at the edge of a cliff. see: Gooseberry Mesa
epic n. a ride that must last for at least six hours and include at least three mechanicals that add at least an extra hour to the ride time. Epics are usually started with a statement like "the trail is buff, should only take three hours." Similar to death march.
first blood n. credit to the first rider in a group who crashes and starts bleeding as a result.
flying trapeze n. when you endo into a clothesline.
fault n. when a rider can't disengage his cleats from the pedals
before falling over. See horizontal track stand.
fred n. 1) a person who spends a lot of money on his bike and clothing, but still can't ride. "What a fred -- too much Lycra and titanium and not enough skill." Synonym for poser. Occasionally called a "barney". 2) (from road riding) a person who has a mishmash of old gear, does't care at all about technology or fashion, didn't race or follow racing, etc. Often identified by chainring marks on white calf socks. Used by "serious" roadies to disparage utility cyclists and touring riders, especially after these totally unfashionable "freds" drop the "serious" roadies on hills because the "serious" guys were really posers. According to popular myth, "Fred" was a well-known grumpy old touring rider, who really was named Fred.
wheelie n. what endo used to mean in BMX: a trick where the
rider applies the front brake and lifts the back wheel off the ground; this is
the basis for many BMX tricks. Most riders cannot pedal effectively while doing
a front wheelie. Also called a "nose wheelie" or "stoppie."
FS or F/S adj. an ambiguous term, can mean Front Suspension or Full Suspension. Not used by anyone who wishes to be understood.
gevert n. (regional) a really long period of time. Derived from the name of a LBS that was a little slow getting work done. "Man, that roadclimb to the trailhead was almost a gevert long."
giblets n. all the colorful parts and pieces that you can add or change out on a bike.
gonzo adj. treacherous, extreme. "That vertical drop was sheer gonzo."
gnarl n. extreme technical sections. Characterized by very rough, rooty, slippery, or rocky sections. Commonly found in the Pacific Northwest and New England. "He has got some great bike handling skills and can really scream through the gnarl."
granny gear n. the lowest gear available on
a bike, which only a grandmother would need to use; designed for steep uphill
climbing, but extremely easy to pedal in on flat ground.
gravity check n. a fall.
grinder n. a long uphill climb.
grindies n. e.g., "All that dried mud and sand left me with a loud case of the grindies in my drivetrain."
grunt n. a very difficult climb, requiring use of the granny gear.
gutter bunny n. a bicycling commuter.
hammer v. to ride fast and hard. n. someone who hammers.
hardtail n. any bike with front suspension but no rear suspension. Contrast with rigid and F/S.
hiker log n. an obstacle (e.g. a log or boulder) placed in trail by biker-hostile trail users.
HOHA n. Hateful Old Hikers Association. "HOHA members hate mountain bicyclists with a fervor exceeding that of rabid wolverines."
honk v. to vomit due to cycling exertion.
horizontal track stand n. a foot fault that happens at a stop sign.
impedimentia n. all the junk on a bike that impeeds performance and looks bad.
involuntary dismount n. a crash.
John boy'ed v. when a riders face gets covered with spots of mud, making him look like "John Boy" on the Waltons. "I hit that mudhole and got John boy'ed big time."
JRA n. acronym for "Just Riding Along," a phrase universally uttered by people bringing both halves of their frame and the remains of their fork in for warrantee replacement.
jump n. or v. where we now say bunny hop, BMXers used to say "jump".
kick-out n. a bunny hop in which the rider pushes the back tire to one side.
lid n. helmet.
line n. the desirable path or strategy to take on a tricky trail section.
mandibular disharmony adv. how one's jaw feels when it and the handle bars attempt to occupy the same space and time. "Damn!" "Pray, whats wrong?" "I've got mandibular disharmony."
mantrap n. hole covered with autumn leaves, resembling solid earth and effective at eating the front wheel of the unsuspecting rider.
Marin n. (muh RINN') the county in Northern California where MTBing is said to have been invented. Just north of the Golden Gate Bridge.
metal head n. see organ donor.
mo n. momentum. "If you don't get in gear at the bottom of that hill, you'll lose your mo."
mojo n. charm or icon worn by a biker or attached to the bike.
monkey-motion adj. magazine writer speak for a full-suspension bike.
the activity of MounTain Biking. Or a mountain bike itself.
v. "MTBing". See ATB, OHV, ORV, VTT.
mud diving n. what happens when a bike slows abruptly in mud, throwing the rider into wet goo.
mud-ectomy v. 1) a shower after a ride on a muddy trail. 2) the act of becoming clean.
nipple n. the nut at the end of a spoke that nobody knows the real name for.
nirvana n. the state of being in absolute control and totally in tune with your bike, the trail, and your physical strength. "I was just doing it all so smoothly and delicately and quickly, it was nirvana!" Synonym for The Zone.
NORBA n. National Off-Road Bicycling Association. They organize most of the larger races.
nosepickium n. the crusties you pick from your nose after a ride in a dusty environ.
nose wheelie n. see front wheelie.
over-the-bar blood donor n. a rider who is injured while doing an endo.
pimp n. a Bike Store Guy who is always trying to sell stuff on the trail. "Blow off, pimp. If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
Pirelliology n. the noble art of being able to identify tires from the tracks they leave on the ground.
POD n. Potential Organ Donor..
pogo v. to bounce on a full-suspension bike like a pogo stick. Also, for a full-suspension bike to bounce annoyingly and uncontrollably.
POS n. Piece Of Shit. The antithesis to real bicycles, typified by Huffy, Murray, and any of a number of other bicycles that are poorly designed, manufactured, and assembled.
n. derogatory term for people with $7,000 bikes that never see an actual
trail. Usually found near a trail head and never dirty. Seinfeld may be an
example. Synonym for fred.
potato chip n. a wheel that has been bent badly, but not taco'd.
powerslide n. a two-wheel sideways slide, with the foot opposite the direction of travel kept on the ground.
prang v. to hit the ground hard, usually bending or breaking something.
prune v. to use one's bike or helmet to remove leaves and branches from the surrounding flora. Usually unintentional.
adj. anodized aluminum in purple. Some riders need to obtain as much of
this as possible. It comes in other colors, but they are of no consequence here.
push-push n. 1) a novice's pedaling motion, consisting of alternately pushing each foot down, instead of spinning. 2) a Shimano techno-fad shifting system.
R&D n. Ripoff & Duplication, or Research & Development.
rag dolly v. to wreck in such a way that one's person is tossed like a flimsy scrap of cloth. "Did you see me rag dolly back there? I think I pierced my ear on a tree branch."
redsocks n. hikers who always block the best singletracks, so named because they're always wearing those funny red socks. Also known as HOHAs.
retro-grouch n. a rider who prefers an old bike with old components and isn't fond of new, high-tech equipment.
'rhoid buffing v. going down a hill so steep that your butt touches the rear wheel.
Ride On! n. a parting phrase used by riders with out much else to say.
rigid n. a bike with no suspension.
roadie n. a rider who prefers riding on paved surfaces.
road rash n. contact dermatitis; an allergic reaction of skin to moving asphalt.
rock-ectomy v. removing rocks, dirt, gravel from one's person
after a yard sale. "Some betty stopped by and performed a rock ectomy on my
knee after the wreck, I think she digs my scene."
rocket fuel n. the mandatory pre-ride coffee.
rockwell v. an unintentionally performed hardness test rendered by a trial side object on your anatomy or possesions. Requires the use of a number to rate the event. "I 50 Rockwelled on that last buster." "No way, dude, it was at least a 60!"
rookie mark n. chain grease on a rider's pant leg. "Give that guy extra points for his rookie mark. It's even on the wrong leg!" See chainring tattoo. roost v. to go fast or accelerate quickly. Or, to stop suddenly.
schwag n. free stuff. "Hey, they're handing out scwag over at the Rock Shox booth."
scream 1) n. a real biker's dream ride. 2) n. a long, straight, and deceptively steep hill. 3) v. to bomb so fast one can't pedal fast enough to make a difference.
singletrack n. trail just wide enough for one
person or bike -- the MTBer's holy grail. Contrast with dual-track.
sharkbite n. the mark that your large chainring makes in your calf or other exposed body part when you fall.
skid lid n. helmet.
skid row n. that section of trail that nobody ever expects or remembers that always appears too suddenly when riding too fast. Usually switchbacks. Named after all the skid tracks left there from previous riders.
sky v. to
jump extremely high. To get big air.
snake bite n. a double puncture of an inner tube, caused by hitting an obstacle too hard or by under-inflation of tires.
sneakers n. tires.
snowmine n. an object hidden by snow on the trail. "Be careful of the snowmines -- you know, rocks, logs, hibernating bears..."
sample n. a face
spider patrol n. lead rider, or first rider to run into a mongo banana spider. Similar to cob clearer.
spike v. to obtain a chainring tattoo on the back of the calf, usually the result of a newbie trying to dab or panic skid at high speeds.
smooth pedal motion. Opposite of push-push.
spring planting n. a face plant.
spudded v. crashing as a result of not being able to unclip from spuds in time to avert disaster.
spuds n. "SPD" (Shimano Pedaling Dynamics) clipless pedals.
stack n. crash. v. crash.
steed n. your bike, the reason for your existence.
STI adj. "Shimano Total Integration" -- a marketing ploy that forces you to buy new brakes when you replace your shifters.
stoked adj. euphoric feeling of enlightenment, caused by
adrenaline rushing to the brain during a gonzo clean.
stoned adj. describes a rider after a crash which imbeds stones into the rider's skin.
stoppie n. see front wheelie.
superman n. a rider who flies over the handlebars and doesn't hit the ground for a long time. This may result in injury, but when it doesn't, it's really funny for everyone else.
swag n. the stuff that manufacturers and vendors donate to be given away at bike related events. When you race, go to bike shows, help put on events, write bike articles, you are often rewarded with swag. Sometimes called "schwag".
to bend a wheel over on itself, in the shape of a taco. "I taco'd my wheel, and
it cost me a hundred bucks." Worse than a potato
tea party n. when a whole group of riders stops and chats, and nobody seems to want to ride on.
technical n. a section of trail that is difficult to ride because of rocks, tree roots, steep drops.
techno-fad n. a screwy or unique technology that a
dominant company (usually Shimano) tries to foist upon the innocent cycling
public. Past techno-fads include Biopace chainrings, and overly complex
"thumb-thumb" or "push-push"
techno-weenie n. a rider who knows more about the newest MTB parts and techno-fads than about the trails. Someone who buys lots of gadgets to add supposed iotas of performance to the bike. Greeting a friend whom we haven't seen in a year, I might say "Hi, Marta!" A techno-weenie might say "Oooh, you got White Industries hubs on that bike now?"
thrash 1) v. to cause severe ecological damage to a trail, usually during the wet season. 2) adj. a damaged trail "That trail's really thrashed after last winter."
three-hour tour n. a ride that looks like a piece of cake at the outset but turns out to be a death march. Derived from the theme song to "Gilligan's Island."
ti n. titanium. Some riders would replace their watches, rings, glasses frames, and gold tooth-fillings with titanium if they could afford to.
n. a clip-and-strap system that connects a rider's feet and toes to her
pedals. Toe clips usually don't require special shoes.
tombstone n. one of those damn little rocks protruding out of the trail which you don't notice because you are having a heart-attack climbing the hill.
tornado v. to balance on your front wheel while turning your back wheel 90-180 degrees in either direction.
track stand n. (from road-cycling) a maneuver where the rider stops the bike and attempts to remain standing.
trail mix n. the involuntary release of last night's dinner by the way it came in, usually with the assistance of too many adult beverages and accompanied by a long grinder.
trail swag n. equipment or accessories dropped by other bikers and found on the trail.
tricked out adj. when a bike has the latest and hottest components.
tweak n. a jump during which the rider twists the handlebars back and forth in mid-air, the more times the better. v. 1) to slightly injure a part of the body or the bike in a crash. "I tweaked my wrist when I fell." 2) to make a minor adjustment. "My brake pads were rubbing but I tweaked the cable and it went away."
void n. 1) to empty the contents of one's bladder. "Where were you, man? We waited for at least two minutes." "Sorry, dude, I had to void, my back teeth were floating." 2) a deep chasm that you have to clear or you will die.
VTT n. Velo
Tout-Terrain, the French term for mountain biking. Velo
= bike, Tout = all, and don't even ask me about terrain. :-)
vultures n. spectators who line up at dangerous obstacles in hopes of seeing blood.
wash out v. to have the front tire lose traction, especially while going around a corner.
weight-weenie n. a MTB owner (not even necessarily a rider) who is more concerned with how many milligrams a certain component saves off the bike's total weight than with how to be a better rider.
wheelie n. lifting the front wheel off the ground, usually with some combination of pulling on the handlebars, pedaling harder, and balance.
wheelie drop n. a combo of a wheelie and a jump, used to negotiate a large drop with little speed due to a limited run-out.
whoop-de-doos n. a series of up-and-down bumps, suitable for jumping.
wild pigs n. poorly adjusted brake pads that squeal in use.
winky a reflector. "Nice winky set, fred!"
wipeout n. a crash. v. ("wipe out") to crash.
WOMBATS n. "WOmen's Mountain Biking And Tea Society", a Marin-based organization founded by writer and former MTB racer Jacquie Phelan.
wonky adj. not functioning properly. "I bailed, and now my wheel is all wonky and all I hear are wild pigs."
wrench v. to work on one's steed, to adjust or repair. n. a bike shop mechanic. "I blew my shock but the wrench at Charlie's dialed it back in for me."
zonk v. same as bonk.